Friday, March 27, 2009

The Okies are at it again

Firat they tried to legally ban an athiest from speaking at a university... now they're working on passing this law.

"The bill requires public schools to guarantee students the right to express their religious viewpoints in a public forum, in class, in homework and in other ways without being penalized. If a student’s religious beliefs were in conflict with scientific theory, and the student chose to express those beliefs rather than explain the theory in response to an exam question, the student’s incorrect response would be deemed satisfactory, according to this bill."

So, for example... let's say you're taking a difficult test and you dont know the answer to a specific question - just lob some religious answer in and you get the question right. Example - what is the protein activator for sea urchin sperm? Rather than discussing Calcium ionophores, one simply says 'jesus' and gets it right. You dont even have to stop at Jesus... in fact, the wicans should have a much easier time of this - and a creative student should be able to simply make things up on the spot. Hell, what's 1+1? Well Jesus fed the multitudes with a fish and a loaf - so it must be a number like 'many'. Have to write a 5 paragraph poetry analysis of 'The Tide Rises, The Tide Falls'? It's obviously about Moses and the Red Sea. Afterall jeebus is everywhere in all things - why not put him into geometry proofs.
Reflexive Property --> God created these lines parallel --> SAS Postulate (4,8,9)... When religion becomes the enemy of critical thinking there will be very little room for the religious in any enterprise I want to be involved in.

The beautiful secondary part of this law is the 'students are allowed to spew religious sentiment as school representatives' - and it's already passed in Texas. Oh to be a student again - the Flying Spaghetti Monster and I could bankrupt the plano school district in moments.

Of course, here in texas we're busy passing new garbage every year. So teachers - be sure to teach that the universe was created yesterday - and that every memory you have and all physical evidence to the contrary is just jeebus testing our faith (because I, as a student, would be sure to make that point on every history test). Easiest way to become valedictorian evar!!!

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