Tuesday, April 29, 2008

You know... when they say 'what happens in vegas stays in vegas' i dont think they meant federal rebate checks

Monday, April 28, 2008

Lex Luthor on the subject of personal hygene.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

So anyone i've inflicted my musical taste upon knows i've long been in love with the San Francisco mashup scene. I love synthetic constructs - and taking things as different as Snoop Dogg and Cher and saying 'i think i can make that work' is just balls. Now that said - there are some combinations that just shouldnt be contemplated (even if they DO work...) (for those unfamiliar with the leek-wielding ingenue)

You know... being out till 430 am sitting around drinking beer telling old stories and listening to new ones under an overcast sky in a breezy 65 degrees... jake has good neighbors and that scene doesn't suck in the least

Saturday, April 26, 2008

This afternoon was the NFL draft...
hope you didnt forget if you needed an excuse to escape a one night stand...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I cant tell you how many times i've gotten an email like this....


Your Bimbo doll is dead :S

Hi SallyRide !

You know that you have a "bimbo"?

Its important to take care of it! She dead now! But you can save her again!

For remember :
Your email : xxxx
Your password : xxxx

See you soon !

http://www.missbimbo.com


man that's pretty rough...
if anyone needs me i'll be in mourning

25 years is a long time....







Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Watched Chelsea at Liverpool today via Shanghai TV...
the announcers are great - Drogba rolling around on the pitch at 68' - they see the replay and they start laughing at how absurd he is... and who really needs to understand the language at 93.50 - a groan of despair is fairly universal. Well - at least Tom Hicks can take solace in not being the least popular liverpudlian at Anfield today...

Monday, April 21, 2008


ahhhh christianity... it's all about the love

"His name is so close to Osama I have a feeling he might be Islamic therefore he doesn't recognize Christ"... what's ironic is that, according to Jesus, they ARE brothers... just as all men are - but i doubt that's quite what the hate-mongering pastor is getting at with his explanation.

If it were an individual I'd laugh... if it were one church - like Westborough Baptist - I'd shrug it off as freedom of expression.... but when it's half the country i think it's time to start recognizing this experiment in democracy as the failure it has become.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

spring season... only 2 shows worth watching - i've dropped the rest. One is interesting - Real Drive Sennou Chousashitsu - from the makers of Ghost Hound and Ghost in the Shell. I've only seen one episode - but i think it has some legs. The other is, oddly enough, the new Macross series. I didnt expect that - i'm not really a mecha person - but damn if it isnt pretty (the Menclave 720p encode is fantastic).


Of course - they have to at least reference MinMei's family restaurant... not that anyone watching will get it. God I hated her.

The rest of the season - absolute shite.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

So let me get this one straight...

Austin teacher's body found in townlake (i'm not calling it ladybird - that's a dog) with his hands bound with duct tape... and the police preliminarily rule it a suicide?!?...
i'm wondering if him being involved in palestinian childrens charities might have had something to do with that decision... i've seen stupider things - like Hal Jordon for example - but not many...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I'm looking forward to the Midland version of COPS...


At what point did the Midland police department decide that they needed an armored personnel carrier? and what the hell does that say about crime in that city?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

3 beers into a blue sky
75 and sunny... trees are a deep black-green that speaks of purpose
and i sit being as nihilistic as i've been in ages

i could blame being pseudo-invited to my ex-wife's wedding, but that's really only responsible for a beer or two ;)

Monday, April 14, 2008



Ok Hillary...
I will now give money to McCain if you are the nominee...
Happy yet?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Following up the last follow up... "We have helped guests and potential guests in the past when they need financial assistance to come on the show"

Dr. Phil - excuse me but i hope you get beaten half to death by a cheerleader (or is that too good for him). In the mean time, while he's blowing his money so there's one more dumb bitch on the street guys like Mr Bryant are going home with a couple hundred bucks and the pity of the court.

i lurve amurika

Friday, April 11, 2008

Trust me on this...
Don't open these around friends... cause if you do, they'll take all the strippers and boobs - and leave you with the rattlesnakes and shrapnel.

One day the Clinton camp is going to realize that trying to bitchslap this guy is a bad idea - because he can get up, unscripted, and kick you so square in the balls that you'll cry like a girl... oh wait... prolly should use a different euphamism there huh.

edit: after seeing the analysis on DU i had to drop some of it on this one too...

...the news cycle for the next week is going to be about this. Every news show and talking head is going to be on this subject... the subject of working class anger, cynicism, and resentment towards government. And guess what: that's a subject that will crush Hillary and mcsame in middle America. Nafta, wal*mart, bankruptcy bill... all over the news for the next week as hillary is on the news telling these folks "you're not angry with government like he says" and folks all across the mid-west saying "hell yes I'm angry with government." Obama said working folks are bitter towards government... bitter means resentful and cynical. Find me one rural working class american that isn't resentful or cynical towards government. One. Apr 15th is 4 days away, so trust me, you won't find one.

I think that's probably deadbang. By taking the complaint by McCain and Clinton and reframing the argument into 'bitterness over government' - and doing it AT TAX TIME - I really think he's going to dominate them this week... and they practically gifted it to him.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

and a follow up on our young friends down in florida giving us all a reminder why there's a 'florida tag'...

The girl can no longer see well out of one eye and hear from one ear...

"Some parents were remorseful. The kids really were not. They were laughing and joking about, (saying), 'I guess we won't get to go to the beach during spring break.' And one, as you said, asked whether she could go to cheerleading practice," Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.
see... this is where the chinese justice system works and ours fails...
we have the girls... on video... in jail... committing the crime and showing no remorse... why is there a question of 'will they receive a fair trial'. Was there a question of guilt? Why do i long for the days of an eye for an eye - literally...

I found Anon's reaction interesting - they went after the perps hard (had names and addresses up in 30 minutes) - but they went after the victim too as just another Heather. Disaffected youth are getting a bit more disposed to violence these days... could be a lot more people bemoaning the loss of their dead gay son if things continue down this road...

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

i'm going to tell a 4chan story...

if that prospect offends you then run

no really....

i mean it...

i'm gonna make the text white - so scroll over it to read it... but you've been warned...

humor on 4chan is quick and malevolent and wrong and there's nothing subtle about it
lots of it isnt funny... the racism and homophobia is rather overdone (there arent many situations where any of that is a good thing)...
but it's self policing... for example...
fridays are considered 'furry fridays' by the creepy 'furfags' who come in posting odd pictures of animophic animals 'yiffing' etc... the /b/ community at large finds this unacceptably screwed up even for them, and thus someone created 'SaviorChan' - a bot - which dumps pictures of tom delay into the thread ad nauseum until the image limit is reached. That it has the added benefit of associating tom delay with furrydom is a bonus. But this isnt the story i wanted to tell... the other day someone was complaining that all the good sites with all the good bestiality video were offline - and he wanted links to sites where he could see bestiality... then he amended his request... as he didnt want sites with 2 girls kissing and a donkey in the background - he wanted sites with "i want to see a man, fucking an animal, with his cock"...
within 3 posts a picture of eraserhead was shown - with the words "i want to see a man, fucking an animal, with his cock" as the caption.... then 3 posts later, carrottop... and then the deluge began. Dick Cheney... W... the old dancing guy from the six flags commercials... Suiseiseki (with desu added to the end of course)... hundreds and hundreds of pictures - most (like desu-chan) references to past memes compounding the joke... Within 30 minutes, the thread was finished, it dropped down past page 10 and out into the wastebin... and a meme had drifted into obscurity. But for 30 minutes i laughed till i cried.

4chan isnt for most (and i'm surely not the target audience)... hell - we'd probably all be better off if it didnt exist... but it pushes the envelope of sophomoric humor and disturbed adolescence to heights i never could have aspired back in the days of rec.pets.cats... someone will shut it down some day - but there will always be something else, something worse, something that crosses beyond vile... if you let them police themselves - they'll hold the line somewhere (it just may not be where you might want it held)

you may have seen this
afterall - lots of news organizations ran with it...

"Melanie said a group of boys also threatened to rape and kill her. Eventually, the boys let her go and when she went for help, she was ordered back to class, and told she could not call her parents, she said."
it has all the right elements... white girl... attacked by gang of illegal immigrant loving unamerican thugs...

yeah

bet you didnt see this yet

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

It's just one of those days isnt it....

1) Invite cheerleader friend to house.
2) Beat cheerleader into unconsciousness.
3) Post video to Youtube.
4) ???
5) Profit?

I hope these little snowflakes get what they deserve...

Ok - the CPS raid on the Warren Jeffs compound is still the big news here... and the more I hear the more I wonder why the hell it took so damned long to get in there. They waited for the March 29th phone calls before acting... but they HAD TO KNOW what was going on in there...

"Our investigation determined there was a widespread practice of young girls being conditioned to accept becoming the spiritual wives of older men and to have sex with them," Azar said. "We determined these children were in imminent danger of continued abuse. We simply could not leave these children in homes where alleged abusers also lived."

Unacceptable. You have to move faster than this... from another source

When the abuse occurred, the girl told officials, other women at the ranch would hold her infant child. The last time he beat her was on Easter Sunday, according to the affidavit. The document also indicated that on a previous occasion the man had beaten her so severely that it resulted in her having several broken ribs.

After that incident, she was taken to a hospital, and a doctor wrapped her torso with a bandage and told her, "Take it easy for a few days," according to the document.

Take it easy for a few days. And now there are people on the television arguing that these people were merely exercising their freedom of religion. People want to be able to raise their kids without the oversight of a nannystate... but what about when they want to fuck em? Why is it that believers make me sick so much more often than cynics...

I have a religion, it involves baseball-bat enemas and the male leaders of the FDLS... we're non-denominational.

Monday, April 07, 2008



i thought making dresses out of curtains went out when the yankees burned tara

but seriously... this is a bad scene. they say these girls are convinced they're 'the chosen' and that they'll be extremely difficult to reorient out of the world they're used to... still, there's one good thing they have going for them - they obviously arent the sort to waste thousands of dollars on shoes.

Ok
You assholes made your point...

Several weeks ago on NPR I listened to an awful protester haranguing an athlete over chinese oil investements making the country complicit in genocide in Darfur... a horrible man who implied that as an african american woman she should be morally obligated to give up her dreams of competing. It was a stance that was as close to racist as I've heard on NPR - and stood out in my mind as the local affiliate went into fundraising mode this week...

And now the great unwashed masses of the outraged political left have decided to hate china because of Tibet... an area that has never been autonomous in a modern sense, was ruled by warlords before 1949, and has been claimed by the PRC since '51 (so whatdya got, 2 years?). This is total crap. Hey dickeheads - if you want to protest a country that's busy killing people, you might want to consider THE ONE YOU LIVE IN. The truth is that people dont hate China because of any of this - they hate China because China is going to bury the west economically. We get morons scaling the golden gate in SF, who'll happily go back to walmart and drop half their meager paychecks on chinese-manufactured goods. Ask em to protest by not buying back to school clothes at JCP - good fucking luck.

There was another story on NPR... talking about a protest by farmers in mexico city in 68 2 weeks before the games began - where the mexican govt went out into the streets and shot 250 people dead. Did that stop the games? Did anyone give a shit? Hell no.

These games are politics neutral. You leave this shit at the door - because if you DONT then we cant have them. I may not agree with things the Chinese govt does, I may not agree with things the American govt does, but that doesn't mean I cant watch basketball does it?

If we're incapable of the idea of sports without politics - and maybe that's the case - then lets just fucking cancel the World Cup while we're at it. Oh wait... the French and English have good squads there dont they... yeah, guess we only assert our political outrage when it suits us. God I wish this olympic games were held in Tel Aviv - then we'd see whether these dickheads who feel assaulting wheelchair bound athletes taking pride in being involved in something they'll always remember is acceptable.

DINSDALE...

The police spokesman said the suspect was arrested "for assault with a weapon, namely the hedgehog."

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Liverpool manage a draw against a desperate Arsenal
(looks to be Chelsea or ManU at the top again - big shock)
and though i'm not really a Chelsea fan no one really likes Man U...
so with regards to the Middlesborough / ManU match tomorrow, i think it's safe to say "Gareth Southgate - the whole of England is with you..."

Friday, April 04, 2008

In town to visit jake... see him more now than i did but talk to him about the same, dont figure that'll hold up that way forever seeing as i'm so often off to the far reaches (though, not - it seems - to Hong Kong to work for this latest prospect...) so it's fun. Tried to go to Chuys - but it was overly full... tried to go to Polovos but it was as well... tried to go to Home Slice but there's some old car thing on congress that had the streets packed... ended up at El Arroyo which was a lot better than i remember it being. Things must be greasy in the kitchen - so i'm guessing its time for the semi-annual 'oh look El Arroyo is burning down again' event. Still a lot of wasted money going into restaurants in this town... people are out and about and burning money like it was 98... man is that gonna hurt when the rubber hits the road.



June 2007... it's all downhill from there...

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Accelerando

I've never read a book that made me quite so suicidal.

This is by far one of the best books I've read in a decade of reading (lets let it settle in before I really consider how far to take that). The characters are complex, the universe is fast paced and develops faster than the plot (which, in a somewhat recursive way, is sort of the point), and through the somewhat disjointed skipping forward through a timeline that's, theoretically, all in our near future - is something that falls somewhere between an Orwellian cautionary tale and a crystal meth inspired Gibsonian nightmare.

Stross is an author who uses words - and he uses them around IDEAS. In fact, he turns about and uses those ideas as words - applying names to author concepts and flinging them at you in a density that, if you're not familiar, will bounce away like superfluous egg on teflon and if you are will stick and strike like shoemaker-levy on a bad day. This thing is dense - and its VERY fast - and it comes from all sorts of angles... and it holds up in too many ways. The idea of singularity - and what it means to the concept of human condition - is not unknown in other works (Vinge loves this one). But going beyond it - asking 'what next' or 'is there an exit'... those are fascinating landscapes. Still, he leaves so many threads undone as the story spins out - and there are so many ways to take the ride - it's leagues ahead of the Merchant Princes series in depth and complexity, and by not losing the plot amongst too many principals (though he STILL has a tendency to throw characters away, just like Banks, when they've served a purpose) gives this one real legs.

Now... why suicidal... perhaps a better term is 'life ambivalent'
Ultimately this is a book about existence. It asks for definitions - and looks at purposes - and challenges a lot of what it means to be. There's some real thought in here... not that shitty subtle finding yourself on a grand travel adventure tripe... not that whiny self-absorbed prose from The Bard... this is big meatcleaver thinking - and it deserved to be Hugo shortlisted.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Memos from Hell
Doug Feith: Hi, Sir. What's happening? We need to talk about the 4th amendment.
W: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Dick talked to me about it.

So this government believed and acted as though the 4th amendment didnt apply to its actions in time of war. This vision of executive power is... well... not really what this whole republic was all about. I suppose the idea of imperium proconsulare maius came as quite a shock to the members of the roman senate too, but i never thought i'd live to see this.

I'm going to make it simple. Mr President - the FIRST THING you did was recite "and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." THAT IS YOUR PRIMARY JOB. You can say 'hey, terrorists suck, we need new rules for this' - and you'd GET THEM. What the hell do you think PATRIOT was? You got a war against a STRATEGY for chrissakes. You got to lead the country into a war against a country that did NOTHING to us other than have the temerity to outlast your father's administration... NONE of that is acceptable... but the idea that you can dispense with the parts of the constitution simply because we're at 'war' is beyond absurd. Why stop at the 4th amendment? The 1st certainly causes you trouble - what with the NYTimes and WP saying all those nasty things about what a total asshole you are... that's gotta be 'supporting the enemy'... and hell - the very idea that you cant run again during a time of national crisis - the 22nd? - absurd - that should be thrown out too. Let's get rid of the 13th, 14th and 19th while we're at it that way all your white male friends can vote you back into power and you can do whatever the hell you want - afterall, you're just trying to protect america - right?

We follow the rules because when we STOP following the rules it's a slippery slope. People like Douggie need to be in Brussles, in a 10x10 damp cell, with a manual typewriter churning out hate-filled memoirs... wtf happened to my country. Where the hell were the checks and balances against this shit.

Filed under 'wish this one were april fools'...
it strikes me as great fodder for a Live Action Rugrats movie...
Tommy: 'you got the handcuffs Chuckie?'
Chuckie: 'i keep them in my diaper!'
Angelica: 'only BABIES wear diapers!'
Tommy: 'Dont mess with him bitch - i'll cut you...'

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Some great april fools day pranks today...
Blizzard nails one...
ESPN has 'election deathwatch' coverage...
Youtube rickrolls everyone...
The BBC has penguins flying (though they use it as an ad)
even the president is getting in on the act...

EDIT: Ok - the best was the NPR story, but I didnt hear it until this evening. With a quote like "The clarion brass shriek at the outset stakes Fluegel's claim in this, his most ambitious work: not just a new composition, but a daring new aesthetic, subminimalism at its most compact. And yet, at the same time, its most expansive." how can it not win...